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About altTedium

  1. I got my first e-mail address in 1992.
  2. I bite my fingernails and chew on my fingers, particularly when stressed.
  3. I’m afraid of storms.
  4. I love being asleep.
  5. I get up most weekdays around 4:15 a.m.
  6. The actual time varies because my alarm clock is set upwards of a half-hour fast, so who knows what time it is really?
  7. Which is the whole point: if you got up at 4:15 a.m., wouldn’t it be better not to know?
  8. Around the same time we got those e-mail accounts, my school friends and I discovered Usenet.
  9. We started an e-mail group we called “alt.tedium” in which we discussed the events of the day and debated the tedious virtues of artistic integrity.
  10. If that’s not the precursor to a blog, I simply don’t know what would be.
  11. I’m a big fan of the pomegranate.
  12. My NintendoDS BrainAge ™ is currently 23.
  13. You couldn’t pay me enough to be chronologically 23 again.
  14. Except that when I was 23, I got my first e-mail address and discovered Usenet, so how bad could it be, really?
  15. So I guess that makes me all old-skool, yo.
  16. I’m not very good at keeping in touch with people.
  17. I practice fake accents sometimes.
  18. I’ve watched whole episodes of stupid BBCAmerica shows solely to hear someone Scottish say “trousers.”
  19. My special birthday dinner for many years as a kid was burned hot dogs, Waldorf salad, kugel, and homemade chocolate cake.
  20. I hate the feeling of rubberized raincoats against my skin.
  21. I know that should be a metaphor for something else, but it’s not.
  22. I enjoy phrases like “a metaphor for something else,” because it’s redundant and vaguely obfuscatory, which makes me tediously pedantic, but whatever.
  23. It’s my blog, so what else would you expect but tedious pedantry?
  24. I’ve seen The Monkees perform live, twice.
  25. I told myself that I had a crush on Davy Jones, but in my secret heart, I knew I was more a Mike Nesmith kind of gal.
  26. But it was really George Harrison all the way.
  27. Left to my own devices, I’d spend entirely too much time watching VH1’s Celebrity Fit Club.
  28. I’ll watch just about any sitcom, if it airs in re-runs between 3:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m.
  29. At my fastest, I can type 60+ words per minute.
  30. I cannot type numbers anywhere near that fast.
  31. Perhaps unrelatedly, I appear constitutionally unable to do math in my head.
  32. I’m all Advil.
  33. I like throw blankets.
  34. Pepperidge Farm’s Pizza Goldfish are surprisingly tasty.
  35. I hate mass-market-sized paperbacks. I can’t hold them without my thumbs going numb.
  36. Particularly gruesome or painful-sounding stories also make my thumbs go numb. Double points if the story is itself about injuries to thumbs.
  37. I’m afraid of ice underfoot, so much so that I once broke my elbow falling on the sidewalk after I purposely stepped on a small patch of ice for the sole purpose of getting over my fear.